Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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