if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
