Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
