Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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