I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
