So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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