Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
