I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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