if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
