she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
