Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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