im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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