Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
