Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
