so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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