I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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