Duck Duck Cougar?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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