so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
