Where is the hickey?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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