honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Farmville is her only friend.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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