We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
