Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
