I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
