Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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