You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
