we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
