I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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