i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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