hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize