do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
