I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
