i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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