Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize