If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
