Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
