so that wasnt chicken after all
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
