i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
