you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
