Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
