Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
