So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hippo gnu deer
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
