Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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