I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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