i just wanna soil my oats bro
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
