For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
