using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
