we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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