mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
