is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
my liver is dry heaving
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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