just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
