Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
