i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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