Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
