Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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