Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
