At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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