Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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