I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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