we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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