I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
