PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think people are normalizing furries
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
