that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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