So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
