Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
