and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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